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diary entry: 1 dec 2021

it's only 12 minutes into today. does it still count as today? not sure.

i went to work early today to do drink inventory, which was much needed, but luckily didn't have to stay too much later after close because it was pretty slow. i love working at my dad's restaurant. it was the first time i had actually worked there without him. i loved that i could help out so that he could enjoy a night off.

when i came home, my sister and her boyfriend were still over from dinner. i'm not too bummed that i missed dinner because i got to help my dad and also i got to see my sister. i love having my cake and eating it too. speaking of dessert, miss allyson made blackberry pie, but i couldn't eat any because i can't eat blackberries. i'm actually not supposed to be eating a lot of the things i have been eating over the last two weeks. i could make excuses for why i've made poor dietary choices, but the reality is, i have the power to make the choices i make, and have made. if you want an excuse though, i've been pretty stressed.

after my sister left, i decided to make some returns at the safeway and the walmart. i've actually gotten really good at returning things i've bought and ended up not needing. when i was in germany, it was so hard to return things unless they had tags or were unused (how am i supposed to know if i don't like it if i haven't used it? grr.). i got $9 and some shillings (what i call coins) back, as well as exchanged a sweater. it feels nice.

i slept almost 12 hours last night, which was much needed because the night before i hardly slept at all. i guess i made up for all my sleep from that previous night. my sleep schedule's totally screwed now (i just censored myself from using an expletive, which reminds me I need to add that to my bullet journal under, "new year's resolutions." i just had a phone call conversation with walter about people's fitness new year's resolutions and how I'm so over them. maybe i should just forgo new year's resolutions and just commit to goals despite the time of year, like i was suggesting everyone else do. point noted; taken.) and i forgot to ask my dad to wake me up if i sleep past 9:30. i never trust myself with phone alarms.

this weekend, i learned that for how independent I claim to be, i actually need to rely on others - and that there's nothing wrong with doing so. it's okay. but i do need to wake up tomorrow at a decent time. i've felt like crap about my body, and sleeping too long tomorrow, i know, won't help. i don't know why i felt the urge to work on my blog today, but i did. i guess i shouldn't question good things. i typically don't. why start? i was thinking about which of my many drafts i should pick up where i left off from and start. then i remembered that walter and i played we're not really strangers and he challenged me to make an organized schedule for writing in my blog. that was supposed to take me a week. shit (shit.). but i felt like doing a diary entry, which is a direction i haven't thought of going before, and it seemed better to me than making some public excuse why i haven't been writing in my blog or what you can expect from me. maybe the reason i've ended there is those posts always feel so school-y. i don't know what you can expect from me. maybe i can just get through like several months of content and then define myself from there. hah. my teachers are shaking.

i've decided to make the graphic for this blog post a mood board. it kills a few birds with one stone, because i've wanted to have some moodboards on my blog for a while. hi blog. it feels good to write in you again.


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